I want hope

Today I am angry
I am angry and sad
Angry and sad at this world
This world that I grew up in
The world that taught me to fear and hate
Fear and hate myself and be the other
The world that taught me white is better
The world that taught me I am the other

 

Today I am angry
I am angry and afraid
He walks towards me harmlessly
He wields no weapon or shield
His only sin is being seen
The label on his skin
Black, Young and poor
I reason my fear out, this is Johannesburg
What is a woman doing walking alone
How could you become so comfortable
How could you take out your phone
Was that picture so important

 
Today I am angry
I am angry and ashamed
Ashamed at myself for internalizing
The way of the world through fear
Ashamed at the fear I feel as I walk up to him
Ashamed at myself for calling my fear reason
Our eyes meet I see his pain he sees my fear
More pain I inflict with my fear
Why do I need to protect myself
Why am I allowing fear to rule

Today I want hope
I want hope and faith in the future
A world that sees me as enough
Faith that my sons will know
They are in His image
Loved
Wanted
Desired

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About mandlods

Blogger at candidphdtalk.wordpress.com
This entry was posted in reflections, Uncategorized and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to I want hope

  1. mukul chand says:

    touching poem, very well said.

  2. Nonhlanhla Moyo says:

    That is sooo deep Dudu. Many of us walk with that same fear everyday… so real yet unwanted. Perpetuating the very same society that will one day condemn our very own sons…I need HOPE too!!

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