The thing about death is that goodbyes are never easy

I don’t remember the last time I wrote here, but I have been away for a very good reason. I was in Denmark on a visiting scholar fellowship when I received the news that my dad had died. He was eighty-two and an awesome gentle giant of wisdom in my life. I don’t know what anyone would do in my situation but I dropped everything and headed home to celebrate his life and bid him farewell. Goodbyes are never easy, especially when it is a final goodbye in this life, as we know it. I try not to think about how much I will miss him, I already do. I try not to think about how different life will be without him; after all I was born into his life and built mine out of his.

It’s been a month since this all happened and maybe I should be back at work like a pro but grief has a mind of its own. People say take all the time you need do not rush yourself. What if you do not have that time to take? I had a plan in place; set my self a deadline to be finished with writing. Like it or not finances were a factor in my plan. Money doesn’t exactly wait for you to process your grief and finally move on. So here I am trying to get back into work mode by writing this post.

I must say however that I am glad I do not have any regrets about my relationship with my father. I took every chance to do the things I wanted to do with him. I said the things I wanted him to know. Alas we will always wish for more time, another chance to share in this life. Another day to laugh and love each other because that final goodbye is never easy and always we wish we could delay it.

The thing about death!

The thing about death

Is that it’s a goodbye

Goodbyes are never easy

We never know when next we will meet

If we will embrace and kiss

Or this is forever

The thing about death

Is that it is change

Things don’t go back to what they were

Conversations we had never again

Memories remain as traces

Of the life we once shared

The thing about your death is

My life is forever changed

I was born into your life

Built my life out of your life

The bricks you laid out

Decisions you made

Your daughter I am

The thing about your death is

This goodbye invites fear

Imaginings of a future unknown

Your stealth presence guiding

Sometimes chiding, always wisdom

Forever gone

But oh death where is your sting

I know one who holds the future

It is well He says

Holds me close & whispers

Fear not my child!

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About mandlods

Blogger at candidphdtalk.wordpress.com
This entry was posted in PhD life, reflections and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to The thing about death is that goodbyes are never easy

  1. Pingback: Birthday month | not even Solomon…was dressed like one of these

  2. Pingback: Half the battle is knowing who your enemy is!  | Candid PhD Talk

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